Since when did you start smoking again?
Mm. Occasional cigarette.
A flautist shouldn't smoke. I can help, Pops.
Believe me, Zoe, there is no problem, though.
It was just a--
- Well, you see-- - Yes?
A very beautiful, mysterious woman.
- A princess, in fact. - She heard you play the flute.
And she was so moved that she gave me a jewel--
an earring.
She plucked from her ear and said...
"A Tear of Sharez for my tears...
when I heard your flute."
I put it in my pocket.
- It's nice, isn't it? - But-- But--
How? I thought it was stolen.
Her husband is j--
You see, Zoe, he doesn't know it was all an innocent misunderstanding.
- Neither will Mom. - Exactly.
And this is the wrong time for something to go wrong.
-Just give it back. - He has a man watching me.
Maybe I can help, Pops.
Maybe.
Claudio, you're so charming.
- Taxi! Get us a taxi. - Taxi!
It's raining out. Will you please hail a taxi?
- I'm trying. - I don't want to get wet.
- Oh, there they are. - Hi. - Hi, guys.
- My dress. - It's raining. - Zoe, I love your hair.
- Got anything to eat? Youse got any candy bars, peanuts... - Zoe, Zoe, give it to me.
- Margit, relax. - or anything, huh? - Zoe, oh, my God.
- I don't know. - I'm hungry.
Here's chocolate kisses. I'll bring you more tomorrow if you let me go!
- Promise? - I promise!
Okay. You better come back, 'cause I'm hungry.
Oh, my gosh! Taxi!
- Zoe, what tookyou so long? - We couldn't get here. It was raining so hard, we could not get a cab.
- All these people came. Come see. - Really? Hey, come on. Let's look.
One for the money Two for the show
Three toget ready and go, cat, go
Welcome to my house, girls. Come, let us go.
Let's party!
One more thing to say
Being here at home Sitting all alone
In and out one world
I'm dreamin' back on Earth
Looking out in space
I see just one race
We're giving in to fate We're giving in to hate
I've fought you many times before
And I am really tired of war
Hey, Andrea, Andrea, is that your boyfriend?
Thinking 'bout old times only makes me sad
'Cause I just lost the best friend that I ever had
Now winter's near September's here
And I wish I was going back
- Oh, thank you, Zoe. Now I am really living. - Me too.
Abu, are we gonna meet the princess?
This is my friend, Aunt Soroya.
Zoe Montez, Your Highness.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
You are a jewel...
Zoe Montez.
Takin'a holiday
I need one, like, right away
I'm takin' a holiday right now
Da da da da da da Takin'a holiday
I need one, like, right away
I'm taking a holiday right now
Charlotte, darling...
why is it so impossible for us to be in love, hmm?
It is impossible to be married to the man...
whose flute playing intoxicates every woman who hears it.
Zoe says a woman must never be jealous of a man.
- Zoe is 12 years old. - All the more you should listen to her.
Cut!
Let's all go to dinner. You can clean your room later.
- Where should we go? - The RTR.
Yeah, the Russian Tea Room.
Not Japanese food or Thai food.
- Okay. - Yea!
That's no fair.
It's nice to walk home together.
Bravo.
Do you know the difference between a flutist and a flautist?
- I don't know. - Fifty bucks a week more.
Oh, Pops, the baby music.
The baby music.
- Goodbye, Zoe. - Goodbye?
I just got a telegram.
They need me to play in Athens, Greece.
Then Rome and Vienna.
It's a sudden engagement.
But...
when you're a big girl, you'll come with me.
I promise.
You'll make the travel arrangements.
Paint a pretty picture of me.
Order the caviar.
Oh, Pops, can't I go with you?
I'm afraid not.
I don't know if you can hear me, but here they are, just like I promised.
She's why I love New York. Have a nice day.
See ya soon, I hope.
- Look, Mom. Look at her. - She's wonderful.
- She's so beautiful and graceful. - She is fabulous.
She's what I call the ideal woman.
Zoe, I've really been a fool all these years, looking in all the wrong places for something.
I'm always a fool.
Oh, God. How lucky.
Right in front of my nearsighted face the whole time...
my own daughter, and you're the most fun I've ever had.
Mom, I just happen to have two first-class tickets to Paris...
leaving at 8:00 a.m.,JFK.
A few days in Paris with you? Sounds good to me.
Some shopping, catch the Chanel show.
- Oh. - Why not? It doesn't cost all that much more.
Not really. It would be a sin not to keep going.
- And we just have to go to Greece. - Oh, yes, Greece.
That would be wonderful. To see Claudio, hear him play.
And cast my shadow along the Acropolis.
- Bravo! - Go, Dad!
- Yea! - Bravo!
And so you could say, we all lived-- on tour--
happily ever after.
I'm 50 years old, I'm a partner in a big law firm.
You know, I'm very successful...
and I still haven't resolved my relationship with my mother, you know.
I had a dream the other night that she died.
Make a left on the next corner. You're going the long way.
Mom, I know how to drive to the cemetery.
Yeah, you know. And slow up.
- You have to speed? - I'm doing 30 miles.
Listen, if you're gonna be nasty, I'm not going.
You really want her out of your life, don't you?
You know, I don't know what to say. Tonight I'm gonna take Lisa home to meet my mother for the first time...
and I've been nervous about it all day, you know.
Because my mother always humiliates me. She always finds some way.
Even when I was a kid, you know, and I would go out with her shopping, to the store...
she would speak so loudly.
You know, she always speaks at the top of her lungs, and I...
you know, and I-I-I-- it always made me self-conscious, you know.
I-I-I'm just not looking forward to a good evening.
You still react to her like a small boy.
You really have to have some sense of humour about it.
I can't. I try, but I can't, you know?
I-I-I-- She just gives me a hard time.
She-- She-- She's always telling me that I look terrible...
and she's critical, you know?
Listen. What can I say? I-I love her, but I wish she would disappear.
- Hi, Mom, I-I hope we're not late. - Hello.
- Hello, hello. - Hi. How are you?
Gee, you look terrible.
- Oh, this is very nice. - Thank you.
- It's so cheerful. - He doesn't like it.
- What do you mean I don't like it? It's fine. - Huh.
- He thinks it's too Jewish. - What does that mean?
You know, his name is not Sheldon Mills.
- It's Millstein. - Yes, I know. - She knows, Mom.
- She knows. I told her. - Be quiet. I'm talking to her.
You're losing your hair.
He had such beautiful red hair when he was a boy.
He was always ashamed of it. They used to call him Red. He hated it.
Take some bread and butter.
You know, his father, may he rest in peace...
was completely bald too.
- I'm not completely bald. - You will be.
What do you do, Lisa?
I work in an advertising firm, part-time.
It's the perfect job for me, 'cause it leaves me plenty of time to be with the kids.
- How many? - Three.
- By a previous marriage. - Eat your dessert.
- Here he is. - Oh.
- Nineteen months old. - Oh, he's adorable.
- And look at that little behind. - Mom, please! Enough already.
Everything embarrasses him. He's always shushing me.
He says I talk too loud when we go out, you know, like in restaurants?
It's just too bad. What do I care if people listen?
He was always ashamed. Hmph.
- He used to wet the bed. - Oh, God.
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
- Mom, we're gonna have to go. Really. - Oh--
'Cause I gotta get a cab back. And dinner was-- dinner was terrific.
Look, look. Listen, Sheldon. Don't get married.
Mom, I don't wanna discuss it.
I wanna discuss it. What do you know about that?
After all, where do you come to a blond with three children?
What are you, an astronaut?
- Are you okay? - My mother did it again.
Oh. Dinner with your fiancée?
No, that was last week's trauma.
Today, I'm at work...
and I'm in the middle of an important conference.
You know, I work for a very conservative firm. Everything is always very formal.
- Excuse me, Mr Mills. - I think they're a pretty good group of people in general.
- Your mother's here. - What?
-Joe and Annabel are working on communications with them. - Your mother's here to see you.
Now, we've explored a few different issues. I've outlined a few different ones here.
- Mother. - Say hello to Aunt Ceil.
- What are you doing here? - We just saw Cats.
- Katz? Mr Katz? - Cats. Cats, the show.
Remember? You gave me two tickets?
Oh, Cats. Cats, of course.
So I thought I'd take Aunt Ceil to see your office.
Isn't it beautiful? She doesn't hear a thing.
- Sheldon, we're a little behind schedule. - Oh, yes. Yes, sir.
Uh, I'm-- S-See, I'm all tied up.
This is Bates, the one with the mistress.
Hello, Mrs Millstein? Hi, it's Lisa.
I-I'm calling to invite you to come out...
on Sunday with Sheldon and me.
I'd like you to meet the children.
Oh, please come.
Uh-huh. W-We can have lunch and hopefully have a wonderful time.
I don't know why we have to sit out here.
- It's a nice table. - It's-- It's cold out here.
And why-- And why do we have to go all the way back like this?
- Right this way. It's a nice table. - Oh, I don't like when it's outside like this.
- After all, the weather-- - There you go. - You know how it is.
And, oh, well. All right, all right. Thank you. Thank you.
- I don't know why we have to be out here. - Here, I'll give you this wine list. You can look at that.
- You tell me, why? - Thank you.
- I don't-- I don't particularly care for an outdoor table. - And this. - Thank you.
I don't know what you brought me here for...
because-- I'm not crazy about magic.
It's for the kids. It's for the kids.
- The kids, but I'm no kid. - Quiet.Just watch.
All right, all right. I'll take it easy.
I won't do anything else.
That's a trick? I don't know.
This I never saw before. It's a nothing.
Hi, my name is Shandu the Great, but you may just call me "Great."
Today we're gonna do some magnificent magic for you...
and for our first illusion, a most startling illusion...
I need somebody special, I need somebody brave, I need a princess.
How 'bout, uh, somebody, uh, over there.
No, not you, sir. A princess.
Um, how about-- Yes. There's a lady right over there.
The lady right there in the third or fourth row. Right over there. Rita.
- Me? - That's it. Give her a little encouragement.
- How are you? - Not so good.
- You're not nervous. - What are you, Chinese?
Uh, I'll tell you. We're gonna put a few swords right through the middle of you.
- It's gonna be a delight. You'll be tickled. - I'll be tickled?
You'll be tickled to death. That's just a joke.
- What did you say your name was again? - Sadie Millstein.
- Stein. - Stein. S-T-E-I-N.
I got a son. He's a lawyer. He's sitting over there.
He changed his name to "Mills."
- How old are you, Sadie? - Old enough.
-Old enough. -Old enough to do our Chinese box trick, one of the greatest tricks I do? -That's a box trick?
Come on over this way, Sadie. You're gonna see a miracle right before your very eyes.
- Uh, what? It looks like a storage-- - Have you ever seen me before in your life?
- No. - How do you know it's me? - I don't even wanna.
- Trust me. - I don't even wanna. - Trust me.
- I don't wanna trust you. - Very simple, Sadie. Into the box.
All you do is step into the box. Takes a minute. Let's go.
I'm not gonna go into the box. Are you crazy or something?
It's my trick, Sadie. Into the box. L-Let me take this pocketbook.
- No, no, no, no. - Come on.
I keep my jewellery and my papers in the box.
- Look, look. - Okay. Say goodbye, Sadie.
- Down in the box, Sadie. Watch how we do it. It's gonna be a lot offun. - She's doing great. Relax.
-Jump on down. - All right, I'm jumping.
- She's jumping into the box, finally. - Oh, I'm jumping.
- Watch your nose, Sadie. - It's dark in here!
Here we go with the great Chinese box illusion.
Sword, please. Thank you so much.
Two solid steel swords, coated with aluminum to protect the finish.
Sword number one.
Okay, Sadie, watch your nose.
Here it comes. One, two and three.
Ouch! Sword number two.
Sadie, heads up. Here we come.
One, two and right through the middle.
Sword number three.
You okay in there, Sadie?
Okay, Sadie, last one comin' down.
Deep breaths. One, two--
And now, the miracle.
No place to hide. Nothing there. Nothing there.
Okay, Sadie, things are gonna get better. That's one.
Two. That's three.
Here we come.
Okay, Sadie, time to come out. One, two--
Where is she?
Where'd she go? She's not in the front, is she?
Did you look on the bottom?
It's impossible. She can't get out. There's nobody--
- Where's my mother? - I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know? What are you talking about?
She vanished.
- "Vanished"? What do you-- - Disappeared. Vanished.
- How is that possible? - I have no idea. It never happened to me before.
- Did it, Rita? - No, it's, it's, it's like a miracle.
That's exactly what I thought when it happened.
-Just like a miracle. - How does this trick work?
There's a secret compartment, but she's not in it. It's empty.
Okay, we've searched every inch of the theatre. She's gone.
What do you mean, "She's gone"? How can she be gone? Look what they're tellin' me here.
How is it possible that she's gone?
Wh-Where did you get this trick? I don't understand. Wh-Where did you buy this thing?
I got it in Pittsburgh 20 years ago. The place is out of business now.
Maybe-- Maybe it has got to do with molecules.
What do you mean, "molecules"? You take a little Jewish lady...
you stuff her in a box and she disappears, and she's telling me molecules?
-You know what, the theatre's not taking any responsibility for this either. -Don't worry about a thing.
Anything happens to your mother, I'll get you two free tickets to any show we do.
- Who wants tickets? What are you talking about? - Okay, I-I-I'm gonna call the police.
No, no, I don't want any publicity on this. It's too strange.
You know, "Attorney's mother vanishes during magic trick."
- It's bizarre. - I don't want publicity on this either.
- Nobody would ever volunteer again. - Look what he's worried about.
- You're worried that no one's gonna volunteer? - All right, look.
There's gotta be some kind of rational explanation for this thing. 900 people were watching the box.
She never got out, she's not in there, there's no trapdoors or mirrors.
Even the magician over here, he doesn't-- he doesn't know how it happened.
We've got a problem here.
- Mom. Did you see Mom? - What?
My mother. She's not upstairs. We were just in her apartment.
Di-- Have you spoken with her at all?
- Mother. - I think I have one.
For how long do you wanna borrow it?
My moth-- Did my mother call you at all? Did mother call?
What brings you here?
- Mother. I'm looking for Mother. - His mother.
Oh, oh. I think I spoke to her this morning.
- Uh-huh. - She borrowed a scarf.
- She never returned it. - Hello?
Yes, I called before. I-I called to inquire...
uh, if an elderly lady had-- had shown up, uh...
i-in missing persons or th-the morgue or the hospital or--
Y-Yes, yes, I spoke with you.
Nothing at all?
Uh-huh. Okay.
Okay, thank you.
Sheldon, how's your mother?
- Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
Hello? Any word?
Well-- Yeah, no, I-I-I've heard nothing.
I-I put a private detective on it.
You know, I don't know, maybe she got hit in the head with a sword...
and she's got amnesia or something, you--
Oh, God. Right. I'll-- I'll call you back. I'll call you back.
Come on. You can't go on like this. She'll-- She'll turn up.
Jesus, it's been three days already.
I know. I know.
You look pretty.
That was great.
You never made love to me like that before.
And you didn't even have alcohol.
I don't know. I just felt so loose, you know.
I-- I was just relaxed completely.
I guess what I needed was-- was a release from all that tension.
I feel like a new man, you know? I-- A-At first--
When it first happened, I was crushed with, with panic.
Then, after a week passed...
you know, it was like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
I-I-I find that I smile more easily...
and I-I-- I'm more energetic at work, you know.
And, and, and my sex life has never been better.
I mean, Lisa says that, uh, I-I've--
she's never seen me so relaxed and uninhibited in bed.
What do you think?
Well, obviously, it's because she's gone, right?
I mean, what else could it be except that she's--
she's not around any more, and-- and it's astonishing, isn't it...
how, how, how, how much, you know, she's--
A-And nothing terrible happened. It wasn't brutal.
No-- No ugly thing happened. She didn't die or no--
You know, she just sort of mysteriously and peacefully vanished, you know?
You don't think that she's gonna come back, do you?
Mr Flynn?
Oh, Mr Mills.
Look, Mr Mills, I'm really sorry to report there's no progress on locating that missing woman.
It's okay, it's okay. Don't-- I-I came by to say that I located her myself.
I found her, and she's back, and she--
What happened was she had, um, like a--
sort ofa mini-stroke, and she-- she didn't remember anything.
She didn't who she was, and she was wandering around.
But she's okay now, and I-- and so I'll take care of it.
She's-- You can-- You can drop the case.
Just drop the case?
Yeah. Don't-- Don't find her. Don't look for her any more.
- You're sure you're okay? - Mm. I'm great.
And I've never been better. Never been better.
- Hi. - How are you today, Mr Mills? - Good. I'm very good.
- You look wonderful. - Do I? Thank you. I'll take this.
- Is there anything else? - No, just-just that'll do.
- Two dollars, sir. - Okay.
Okay.
- Everything okay with you? - Yes, sir.
- Good. - Wonderful to see you, sir.
- Thank you. Thank you very much. - Hope to see you again soon.
Thank you. What is all that confusion outside?
I don't know. There's always noise, sir.
Oh, I never saw anything like it!
Sheldon, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.
I was just discussing your problem with these nice people.
- Where are you? - Do I know?
Look, Sheldon, I've had plenty of time to think about it.
Don't get married.
- Not here. - Why should you rush in?
This is not the place to discuss it.
Where should I go? I'm here.
You think a man his age should get married?
They only met six months ago.
It depends. If she's a nice girl, why not?
She's nice, but why do they have to rush in?
He's still paying alimony.
- Mother, stop! - Let them lead their own lives!
I have the same problem with my daughter.
They grow up and they think they have all the answers.
- How old is your daughter? - Twenty-six.
- You got any pictures? - Home. - Home?
I always carry Sheldon around wherever I go.
- Oh, God, this can't be happening. - See? Here he is...
- I need air. I need oxygen. - two years old...
- I mean, I gotta get out in the fresh air. - and I'm not ashamed to show pictures...
- but my son always says, "You can't show pictures." - I need cyanide. Oh.
And isn't he a darling? Look at him.
- This is my granddaughter. - My daughter's wedding.
- There's my daughter, her husband... - This is my friend!
- Here I am! - and me.
He's bright. He was always bright, and in school he was a star.
I can't believe my eyes! What are you doing up there?
Hey, are you hungry, lady?
Hello, Dorothy?
This is Mr Mills.
I can't come in today. Tell Mr--
Tell Mr Bates that I'm feeling sick...
No, no, it's--
- It's okay. - Sheldon's a lucky man! He's a lucky man!
It's okay.
Sadie, you want a bagel?
The woman, Mrs Sadie Millstein, is a widow...
and the mother of Sheldon Mills, an attorney with the New York firm of Bates, Phillips, Tunny and Mills.
Little is know of Sheldon Mills, except for the fact that he changed his name and was a bed-wetter.
-Apparently, Mrs-- - Mrs Millstein, do you have any idea how this happened to you?
My son took me to a magic show to meet his fiancée's children.
- Does he need children? - Do you think Sheldon should get married?
I definitely believe he should listen to his mother.
Oh, God, the pain! The humiliation!
Honey, remember, others don't see her the way you do.
That's not so. You're rationalizing.
You know, this is a nightmare.
To be perfectly frank, it is-- it is humiliating.
Oh, I'm gonna kill that magician. I'm gonna find that guy and I'm gonna dismember him.
- You know, and then I'm gonna sue him. - To tell you the truth, it is a little embarrassing.
Oh, God. I'm gonna kill myself. I'll kill myself.
I guess we could always move to another state.
She'll float over. For God's sakes, look at her.
She's the type that will float.
I'm telling you, we're gonna have to live in the subway.
And I made him a sailor suit, and he looked just like a doll!
God, she-- Look, she's telling everybody in the city how cute I was at ten years old.
This morning she told the entire borough of Queens that I had a hiatus hernia.
What does he need with marriage, for goodness sakes?
- And besides all that-- - She's also saying things about me.
She's-- At least she's your mother. You grew up with this kind ofthing. I'm not used to it.
So then I said, "Sheldon...
why do you have to suck that blanket in bed, huh?"
And he cried and he said, "Oh, please.
Please, don't take it away."
Well, all through his childhood...
he sucked that blanket...
and drove me crazy.
It has been two weeks now since Mrs Sadie Millstein...
has been in her strange predicament...
and, typically, New Yorkers have come to accept it...
as just another fact of life in the city.
Look, Mrs Millstein's rights, her civil liberties have to be protected.
She has every right to be there, she's helped us spot crime...
and I for one would be, uh, very happy if she continued to stay there.
- Sheldon, where are you going? - Hey, there he is!
- Mr Mills, we need to talk to you! - Sheldon, just one question!
Sheldon!
How long is she gonna be up there?
- Sheldon! - Mr Mills, just give us one second!
Sheldon, what are you ashamed of? They wanna ask you some questions.
Hey, Shelly boy, how's the mama's boy?
- Hey, Sheldon, how's the little boy? - Hey, Shelly!
What's the matter? Mama forgot to tell you where to go this morning?
- What are you doing? - I can't take it any more.
- Well, that's no solution. - Oh, Christ. It didn't work. - God.
I-- What do you want me to do? It's a nightmare.
Well, how do you suppose I feel, with her out there calling me all those strange foreign names?
- What's a courva, anyway? - Oh, it's Jewish.
- For what? - Noth-- You know, it's a whore.
Oh, great.
And the worst is that Lisa and I keep fighting.
You know, she jumps at me, and I snap at her all the time.
And, you know, it's just awf-- I-I gotta commit suicide. It's the only way.
Mr Millstein, uh, Mills...
I'm gonna make an unusual suggestion...
but I feel the situation calls for imaginative action.
Yeah?
I know a clairvoyant, um, a psychic.
A woman who deals in the occult.
Unexplained phenomena.
Mysteries that science can't fathom.
I'm sorry. I don't believe in that.
It may be time to begin.
Are you Treva Marx?
Come in, Sheldon. Come in, come in.
You look terrible.
- Do you want something to eat? - No, no, thank you.
- Look, let me level with you. - Mm-hmm.
I don't really believe in this. I was sent here by someone, but I'm sort of desperate.
You look so thin. She's right.
- You sure you don't want something to eat. - No, no, thank you.
- I have no appetite, you know what I mean? - All right, all right, all right.
- I've had a very rough couple of weeks. -Just calm down.
Come with me through here.
Try and relax.
Gee, it's a nice place you got here. What time's the cobra come out?
If you'll excuse me for just one minute, I wanna finish something I started before you got here.
- What are you doing? - I'm speaking with a dead friend of mine.
Well, would you rather talk privately? 'Cause I could wait in the other room.
No, no, no, no. That's not necessary. We're not discussing anything personal.
Jeffrey, I have to go. We'll speak again on Thursday.
But remember, you baste the bird with the butter and the seasonings first...
and then you put it into the oven.
Mm-hmm. Yes, that's right.
Uh-huh. Yeah, that's it.
- Right. Right. - Could you call him back, because I've gotta get outta here.
Jeffrey, I really have to go. It's business.
- Look-- - Oh-oom.
This is crazy. I-- You know, I-I think these kind of thing are fraudulent.
I'm-- I'm really being honest with you. I-I just don't believe in it. You know what I mean?
I'm a person who believes in science and logic and rational thought.
Right. Meanwhile, your mother is hovering over the Chrysler Building.
I would like to order one large pie with pepperoni, anchovies and mushrooms...
and one regular pie with just extra cheese.
Would you hurry up, please, 'cause I don't like being in my mother's house when she's not here.
Yeah, right.
What is that stuff you're spreading around?
- This is crushed pig bones. - Oh, God, save me.
- Oh, do you play piano? - No. Do you?
Yes, I do.
That's very, very pretty. You must have studied.
No, no, I never studied.
I was a pianist in a former life.
Actually, I've had three former lives.
One was a pianist. The second I was a ballerina.
And the third, I did all the laundry for Genghis Khan.
It was a tough job. The man was picky. He hated starch.
- He wanted everything just soft, soft. The river-- - Out of the house. Out of the house.
Hey la la la Heyhey la la la heyheyhey
Hey-yah hey-yah Hey la la la heyhey
Hey, Sheldon.
Are you sure you're dressed warm enough?
Hey, hey, Sheldon. Don't forget to wear your muffler.
Leave him alone! Stop picking on my son!
He's very sensitive.
Darling, are they bothering you?
- Oh, this is ridiculous! I'm not gonna go through this any more! - It's a tough problem!
It's crazy! We've been doing it for three weeks. We're going in circles!
I told you we should try sacrificing a she-goat.
- I'm not gonna kill an animal! - Well, we don't have to kill it! You won't even fondle it!
You're a fraud. I said it the first day that I came here, and I know it.
You don't know what the hell you're doing.
Okay.
Okay, I-I-I guess you're right.
I'm not saying that I don't appreciate it, you're not nice or something...
- but I, you know. - You're right.
- Y-You know, I appreciate your giving me a half price on this. - You don't have to pay.
What are you crying about? She's crying? What are you crying?
- I let you down! - You didn't let me down.
- You know, I never expected anything, so-- - Still, I did.
You counted on me, and I failed.
How do you expect this stupidity to work?
You know, you should move out to California.
You know, by now, you would have a swimming pool and your own church.
I always have hopes.
I always think that there's more to the world than meets your eye--
hidden meanings, special mysteries.
Nothing ever works, ever!
Look, maybe you're right. Don't get so upset.
You know, after all, my mother is floating around up there.
But have you ever done anything extrasensory in your life?
No, you were right from the beginning.
I'm nothing. It just beats being a waitress.
Is that what you were, a waitress?
Well, I wanted to be an actress, but...
I could never find any work.
So I had to wait on tables. It's drudgery.
Then I met some astrologer...
and, uh, he told me that there's a lot of money to be made in psychic phenomena--
that people flock to it because their lives are so empty.
So I tried to learn it, I read up, I--
I guess it's like acting. You have to be born with it.
Will you stop crying? Relax.
I'll bet you're a wonderful actress. You know, you have a very-- a particularly sweet personality.
- Oh, thank you. - You know?
You-- I-- You're probably fine. You know, 'cause, 'cause--
Because a thing doesn't succeed immediately...
- doesn't mean that you have to give it up right away. - My life is a bust!
- Nothing I do comes out right. - Okay, relax, relax, relax.
Take it easy. Let me-- Let me buy you dinner. You'll feel better.
Let me-- You know, Lisa's coming back late tonight.
She's had-- She had to work. I'll take you to dinner.
- You'll feel-- You've been a-- You've been terrible all week. - No, I-I can't. Thank you very much.
- Thank you anyway. - Come on. I'll take you to--
Actually, I-I probably shouldn't go out, because my mother will see me.
Look, you-- You want me to make you dinner? Huh?
- No, forget it, I-- - Oh, come on, please.
Look, it's the least I can do. Come on. Huh?
Can you cook, or, or you just stand over the stove and chant or something?
- I'll boil you some chicken. - Great. My favourite.
Boiled chicken. It's my mother's specialty.
Of course, she manages to render the bird completely devoid of any flavour.
It's a culinary miracle.
Have some more. You only had a drumstick. Huh?
- No, I'm full. I've eaten-- - You didn't have any potato pancakes at all.
I had two of those and I had two, three pieces of chicken.
- You still look thin to me. - No, I'm fine.
You know what? Take some of this home with you. I'll wrap it up.
That way you won't have to leave your apartment. I know how that embarrasses you.
Yeah, but how-- You know, how much can I eat?
It's-- It's-- It was very good. It was really delicious.
This was-- This was a very good idea to, to eat in.
- That was-- - Yeah. - I had a wonderful time. Really.
I mean, I-- You know, you-- Y-You're a terrific storyteller. It was very-- It was-- You know.
I really had a nice time, and I-- I-I was very--
You know, thank you for everything.
Mm. I had a nice time too.
So, um, I should go, right? Because now I've-- I've eaten and, and, uh--
You know, I should-- I have to be home anyhow, because it's probably--
- Here. - Thank you again. - Okay. - What is this?
Here you go. This is the chicken and just a little pancake to go.
- Thank you very much. - You're welcome. - No, really, it was--
- I'm glad you stayed. - No, thank you.
A-A-As I said, I was-- You know, I had a very relaxed time, and it was--
I liked all the food, and it was-- it was wonderful.
- Yeah. - You know?
- So, so... - Good.
we should do this again sometime actually, if this--
- Yeah. - If, you know--
Well, I guess you'd better go, huh?
I mean, Lisa'll be expecting you.
Right. Right.
- So, okay. So, thank you. - Okay.
- So, good night. - Good night. - Good night.
Dinner was wonderful.
You know. Oop. Sorry.
- Thank you very much. That was very good. - You're welcome.
It was a nice idea to floss between every course.
Never done that before.
Oh.
Dear Sheldon: I've taken the kids and gone to my sister's in Vermont.
I think it's best we end things quickly and quietly.
Lately, all we do is fight. Maybe your mother's right.
Maybe you shouldn't rush into anything.
Anyhow, I can't handle it any more.
It's funny. You wake up one day, and suddenly you're out of love.
Life is odd.
All the best to you. Lisa.
Sheldon? Sheldon? Wake up. It's morning.
Mother! Mother! Mom!
Mom! I want you to meet my new fiancée.
- What happened to the other one? - She's gone.
Treva, you never officially met my mother.
No. Hello! Hi. I love your son!
Of course, he could use a little fattening, but otherwise, he's a doll.
Uh-huh. See? Now her I like.
- Me too. - Good! Now I'll come down.
Where did she go?
I don't know. She just disappeared.
- That's funny. - Here I am.
Here, son. Here I am.
Here I am. Yoo-hoo!
- Mom. - What? - Are you okay?
Am I okay? Of course. When am I not okay?
Hello, Mrs Millstein. I'm Treva. Nice to meet you.
Thank you, thank you. I'm glad, I'm glad.
Oh, you picked such a lovely lady.
So, do you have any pictures of him when he was a boy?
- Do I have pictures? - Yeah.
Look. Here. Right from the beginning.
He's six months old. See his mouth?
- Yeah, he's crying. - It was always open.
- Yeah? - Always yelling. - He looks upset.
- He was a pain in the neck. - Really? - Oh, sure, for a little thing.
When he got a little older, well, it was a little better.
Here I am. We were on the beach here. See?